Dib dib dib, dob, dob, dob

The motto of any self-respecting Cub Scout is to ‘be prepared’. This motto transfers nicely to marathon running, as you also need to be prepared for every eventuality. Which shoes don’t rub, which kit works, which gels you can take, which drinks help and which hinder etc etc. So a schooling in Cub Scouts ought to be a big help, not least if you picked up the athletics activity badge. Unfortunately for me, I gave up cubs after a few sessions because I found it deathly boring, and that came back to haunt me in a very, very bad way on Sunday morning.

We had friends due for lunch at 12.30 so we had lots to do in the morning - the house needed tidying, the food needed to be prepped and Evie needed looking after. So I felt incredibly bad about upping sticks and going out for a run for an hour and a half. So much so, that I managed to get out of the door at 8.20. We’d realised when cooking dinner on Saturday night that we’d run out of black pepper, so I took a fiver and left the house with the express intention of running a bit quicker than I should do, picking up the pepper and returning home early to pleasantly surprise Clare. So far, so good.

What I forgot to do, was to check a map, and to see whether the 10 miles I thought I was going to run was, in fact, actually 10 miles. I decided to do a route I’d never done before - heading up to Ickleford, Henlow, chucking a right, and then heading back through Arlesey. I hadn’t ever been around the second half of my route (by car or by foot), but I’d done the first half a while ago and from memory it didn’t seem too far.

I set off, and started pretty quickly. I hadn’t done any exercise for a week because of Christmas parties, and given the temperature was just above freezing, it was good to get moving. The first four miles passed by without incident, and I felt surprisingly good. I got to Henlow and turned right as planned and was expecting the road to head off at a right angle to the last one, to start the turn for home. Unfortunately for me it didn't, as after turning right immediately, it then started to head diagonally further away again. I went past RAF Henlow and saw a few planes coming into land, which took my mind off of things, but by the time I got to the signpost to turn right for Arlesey, I’d done 5.9 miles (instead of 5) already.

Be prepared Wood, you idiot

In my head I’ve got two options. I’ve never been down that road to Arlesey, although my guess is that if it isn't too far from here to the town centre, I'll probably end up doing 11, or 12 at a push. I’ve been running a minute a mile quicker than I should, so all in I’ll end up 5 minutes late if I don’t run out of steam, which isn’t too bad. Or, the second option, admit defeat, turn around, and at least then you’ll know it’s just under 12 miles. My first mistake (or second, if not looking at a map before going out was the first), is that I decide to carry on.

I follow the road to Arlesey but, having never been through the town, I don’t know exactly what the layout is. The only time I’ve ever been there was when I fell asleep on a train and missed my stop, but I got a cab back and wasn’t paying attention. After 6.75 miles I see a sign for the station – but it says ‘Set down only’, not a sign for Arlesey itself. As I don't know the way, I decide I’m better off following the main road as Hitchin is bound to be signposted a bit further down. Mistake number three.

I carry on along the road, picking up a sign for Arlesey and think ‘great, I’m back on track’. I go around a roundabout and head straight back to whence I came. After a further 1.5 miles (now up to 8.25) I’ve just done a massive loop and am back at the train station. The reason it’s 'Set down only' is because there is a train track in the way of the road, but as a pedestrian there’s a handy footbridge, which would have saved me a quarter of an hour and, more importantly, a stack more effort. I’m getting increasingly annoyed. And it’s at precisely this point that it starts to snow.

I’m trying to keep a cool head and my thoughts are as follows…you were due back at 10 o’clock, and it’s currently 9.40. You know you’re at least 5, maybe 6 miles, from home but you don’t know the way. You are tired because you’ve run too quickly. So even if you decide to plough on, there’s no guarantee you’re not going to blow up and end up walking. It’s snowing heavily. Best case, you’re going to be 20 minutes late, worst more like 40. This isn't good. It’s at this point I remember I’ve got a fiver, so I run into the station to see what time the next train is. 10.24 – gutted! No good as even if I run the rest of it, I ought to get back earlier.

I leave the station and carry on running and, after a detour through an estate, I find Arlesey High Street. There must be a bus stop somewhere. Find bus stop. Next bus, 10.24. Would you believe it! And it’s slower than the train and doesn’t even get to Hitchin until 10.45, and then I’ve got to get home from there. I’ll be an hour late and time is really of the essence! It’s about then that mild panic started to set in as I still didn’t know how far away I was, and because I was worrying I’d stopped paying attention to my running and was now doing 90 seconds per mile quicker – totally unsustainable and only a matter of time before I’m dead on my feet.

I carry on some more, and spot a payphone. Thoughts = find a shop, change up your fiver, and hopefully, just hopefully, this can be rescued. I find a Londis, and I can pretty much guarantee from the look on the shopkeeper's face, that he’s never seen anything like it before. I’m dressed in running tights, shorts, luminous green coat and a luminous wooly hat, and am covered in snow. I stride nonchalantly up to the counter, “Excuse me, do you have any black pepper?” I ask. “And also, I don’t suppose you’ve got the number for a local cab firm too have you please?” He did a double-take, tried to work out whether I was being serious or not, and led me off to find a pepper mill.  He dug me out the number of a cabbie, and I trudged off into what was rapidly turning into a snow blizzard.

I go to the phone and the cab number rings off. Great! That happened when I ended up stranded there on the train too – don’t think they answer phones in Arlesey. Next plan, let’s try our house phone.  I call Clare, who is extremely surprised/shocked it’s me on the phone, and wonders what's gone wrong and where I am. After a random and vague effort at an explanation (I was mindful I couldn't do it justice before the pips started beeping) she agreed to order me a cab. I then spend 10 minutes huddled in a telephone box whilst snowflakes the size of 50 pence pieces drop all around me.

The cabbie turns up (see shopkeeper above for initial reaction), and proceeds to drive me home. It’s another 4.5 miles, and Clare pops out to give me some money. The cabbie charges me £16.50 for the pleasure, and I refrain from calling him Dick Turpin for his highway robbery as I shut the door.

I walk in the house and Clare just bursts out laughing at the state of me. I’m freezing cold, feeling mildly ashamed at my incompetence, and my daughter wants a cuddle but I can’t pick her up or she’ll catch hypothermia. But on the plus side, I’m only 10 minutes late and I proceed to pull a pepper mill out of my pocket for comedy effect.

On the bright side - if there is one - I never, ever go out running with money or a phone. So, bizarrely enough, the fact I had a fiver for some black pepper saved my bacon. And going forward, I think it'll probably make sense to carry both items from now on.

The only thing that remained was to look at a map and realise that my gentle 10 mile run, if completed, would in fact have been 14.5 miles. As the nation’s favourite Captain never tired of saying - you stupid boy!

Not a great start to my marathon training, but hopefully a painful lesson learned early on…

And I’m telling you this because…

I’m running the 2012 London Marathon for the Hertfordshire Community Foundation (HCF).

If you feel inclined to sponsor me to help the Hertfordshire Community Foundation continue their great work, you can do so here:  http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/BenWood2